• How to make a million in the stock market? Start with two!
  • A long term investment is a short term investment that failed
  • If you can count your money, you don’t have a million dollars
  • The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night: I woke up every hour and cried
  • Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to shop
  • Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it
  • Where do seagulls invest their money? In the stork market!
  • Borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect it back
  • My wife’s purse was stolen with her credit cards in it. I didn’t report it because the thief was spending less than her!
  • Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it!
  • What happened when the cat swallowed a coin? There was money in the kitty
  • Where can you always find money? In the dictionary
  • If we really did profit from our mistakes, I’d be extremely rich by now
  • Remember the golden rule: Those who have the gold make the rules
  • My friends called me stingy so I decided to buy them a beer. Turns out they wanted one each!
  • My bank sent me a text message of my balance. Its says LOL
  • My friend introduced me to a Money Making Scheme that 100% guarantees payout. It’s called a Job
  • I tape popcorn to the ceiling. It’s cheaper than a smoke alarm
  • My mate asked, “What would you do if you had Richard Branson’s money?” I said, “spend it before he noticed it was missing”
  • I walked into the bank and said to the cashier, “I’d like to open a joint account please” “OK, with whom though?” “Whoever has a lot of money”
  • I smashed open my piggy bank earlier. I’ve just about got enough in it to buy a new piggy bank.
  • There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money
  • Why do banks only lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it?
  • The best way to make somebody remember you – borrow money from them
  • Why is there always so much month left at the end of my money?
  • People used to rob petrol stations. Now petrol stations rob people
  • I have enough money to last me the rest of my life! Unless I buy something…
  • “Money cannot buy you happiness”. But it can buy you a yacht to suffer in
  • If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
  • The best things in life are free, plus tax
  • The perfect solution to solve all your debt problems? Money
  • ‘If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?’ Steven Wright
  • ‘The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.’ – Jay Leno
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  • Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques
  • I love her so much I worship the ground her father found oil on
  • I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left
  • Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard and Visa
  • Jesus saves. But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
  • Never borrow money from optimists – they always expect to get it back
  • Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch
  • A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial. When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
  • A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over
  • Money talks – all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’
  • If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form
  • There will always be death and taxes. However, death doesn’t get worse every year
  • Body cells renew while asleep. If only our wallets could do the same

PlayAgain

1. What is the full form of SEBI?

  • Securities Exchange Bank of India
  • Stock Exchanges Board of India
  • Securities and Exchange Board of India
  • Stocks and Equities Board of India

2. Which animal would you find on the logo of the RBI?

  • Tiger
  • Lion
  • Elephant
  • Jaguar

3. In the world of money, what is the full form of ATM?

  • Actual Transaction Machine
  • Any Time Money
  • All Time Money
  • Automated Teller Machine

4. Who is the only Indian Prime Minister whose signature has appeared on our currency notes?

  • Atal Bihari Vajpayee
  • Dr. Manmohan Singh
  • Jawharlal Nehru
  • H.D. Devegowda

5. Which is India’s largest E-commerce website?

  • Snapdeal
  • Flipkart
  • Myntra
  • Irctc

1. Which company’s AGM was held in the Cooperage grounds of Mumbai (a football stadium) and attended by no less than 12,000 eager investors in 1985?

  • Infosys
  • TCS
  • Wadia Group
  • Reliance Industries

2. If JP Morgan Chase, Wells Fargo and Citibank are the three in the Big four US Banks, which is the fourth?

  • Lehman Brothers
  • Barclays
  • Bank Of America
  • Grindlays

3. ‘CS’ is the ticker symbol of which financial giant?

  • Citibank
  • Credit Suisse
  • Capgemini Shares and Certificates
  • Cadilla Savings

4. What is the name of a person who compiles and analyses statistics and uses them to calculate insurance risks and premiums?

  • Statistician
  • Insurer
  • Agent
  • Actuary

5. Ngultrum abbreviated as BTN or Nu is the currency of which Asian country?

  • Bhutan
  • Burma
  • Cambodia
  • Bahrain

1. What is the financial term for a fixed sum of money paid to someone each year, typically for the rest of their life for an investment or insurance?

  • Annuity
  • Maturity
  • Dividend
  • Brokerage

2. What is the name of a professional who is qualified to examine and scrutinize accounts?

  • Teller
  • Registrar
  • Auditor
  • Under Server

3. What is the settlement of accounts, for a fixed period in a Stock Exchange?

  • Bail Out
  • Buy Back
  • Annuity
  • Clearance

4. What is a certificate attesting credit, the ownership of stocks or bonds, or the right to ownership connected with tradable derivatives?

  • Rights
  • Securities
  • Issues
  • Bonus

5. Which is India’s oldest stock Exchange?

1. What is Q in NASDAQ?

  • Quota
  • Quotations
  • Quantum
  • Queries

2. Who was the first Indian to be Governor of RBI?

  • John Mathai
  • R N Malhotra
  • C D Deshmikh
  • T T Krishnamachari

3. Which marine insurance firm was started by Edward in a coffee house in 1688?

  • Lloyd’s
  • Prudential
  • Aviva
  • Metlife

4. Which country is considered as the birth place of mutual funds as companies with future mutual fund like working were first set up in late 18th and early 19th century?

  • England
  • Netherlands
  • Italy
  • Denmark

5. Which was the first nationalised bank of India to float a trust and issue a Mutual Fund?

  • ICICI
  • Dena Bank
  • Vijaya Bank
  • State Bank of India
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